10 Reasons Why I Hate Men (and I think that it's okay)

1. Because I know, that no matter what I do, men will always look at me before deciding if they want to listen to me.  

2. Because the “traveling as a woman” seminar exists for DukeEngage Academy and I wasted one of my three seminars on something society’s long told me: 

That I can’t be loud

That I can’t draw attention to myself

That I can’t wear whatever I please

That I shouldn’t speak

That I can’t be I can’t be I can’t be.

Oh, you didn’t realize this happened in the US, too?  

3. Because a man’s power is so entrenched in our language that I can’t seem to escape the domination with every word uttered and every breath breathed.

You say “guys” like you’re trying to include me

We say “manslut” and “manwhore” as though they mean different things

Why is it reported that a woman was raped and never that

A man raped a woman?

4. Because men take up too much space, pushing my legs to the side as they make room for themselves on the subway.

5. Because I was walking down the street one day when a man biking by squeezed my breast and whistled, 

As if I were to enjoy that.  

6. Because I was walking down the street again and

A car-full of men stopped to verbally abuse me;

Apparently, my being in a floral skirt gave them the right to say whatever they pleased and

I was supposed to take it silently.

7. Because every time I look at a man, I can’t help but see my father

Daddy dearest who decided

It was okay to cheat on my Mother.

Daddy who just couldn’t deal with my Mother’s bipolar disorder 

And asked for a hug so

He could sweep everything back up under the Oriental rug, 

Hiding behind tradition and respect for 아빠

But I stopped counting, long ago, how many rugs we had at home

8. Because all the men I’ve been with before have expected something from me not just because of my gender but also because of my race,

And I can’t quite efface from my memory all the times 

I was told I was beautiful because of my lighter, softer hair,

My big-for-an-Asian eyes,

My silky yellow-tinted skin,

My smallness,

My tightness…

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard, “You’re not as innocent as I thought you were.”  

9. Because 99% of sexual violence is perpetrated by men. 

10. Because even though I’m finally trying to let go,

To love and be loved,

I can’t find the balance between us and the patriarchy,

As though I’m losing touch with my feminist identity.

So when I gaze into his face

and we embrace,

I can’t help but run through numbers 1 through 9 in my mind and wonder

Why

I feel like

I’m giving up

So much

Just

To be with him.